I Smell Spring

Most people have a favorite time of year. Do you? Maybe its the picturesque summer season when you can sit outside at night and watch for fireflies and shooting stars. Maybe you live for brisk fall days when you can crunch all the crisp red leaves on a walk in the park. Then there are the people who wait all year until the Christmas edition of fudge covered Oreos hit the shelves- have you been caught sneaking a taste while waiting in line?. Or perhaps, you love the first warm day when you can finally take your dog for a walk without wearing 14 layers of clothes.

Personally, I have four favorite seasons. Thats right. Spring. Summer. Winter. Fall. Its true, I love them all! I simply can't choose! I just love the transition- I think it's the anticipation of something new. Right now I am basking in the glory of Spring. Every time I walk out of my house there is a new flower blooming and about 10,000 new shades of green. Driving through my neighborhood at sunset literally takes my breath away. I'm sure the five or six antsy drivers behind me don't appreciate my enthusiasm- I cant help but slam on my breaks to get another glimpse of the sun dipping behind the perfectly pink sky. I'll drive faster in June, okay?

But my point is this: I find it impossible to look outside without being reminded that life is full of potential. That today is a new day, and the only day we are promised, and it is our job to live it well. No one has to tell the lilies to bloom- they just do! No one has to remind the grass to turn green again- it just does! No one has to invite the sky to turn such a vibrant shade of blue- it is honored to!

But we have to be reminded that there is hope. That we serve a purpose in the world too. That God has given each of us a clean slate to start again. Look outside and be reminded!

This spring season grow where you are.

Embrace the day you have been given.

And live a life full of stories that are worth being told.

B-L-O-Geez!

It has been too long. Okay, that’s an understatement. It has been way way way too long! It has been so long that I feel the need to re-introduce myself. It has been so long I’m shocked you are still checking this page for an update! It has been so long that I forgot my password to login to post something! That is way too long!

I wish I had an excuse! Well, I actually have plenty of excuses so allow me to rephrase. I wish I had a good excuse!

If it were spring 2010 I could tell you, “Sorry, I’m busy living up my last semester in college, plus I broke my finger and haven’t been able to type!” If it were spring 2009 I could tell you, “Sorry, I’ve been busy at school taking 18 hours and pouring my heart and soul into directing a SING performance (for the best all university competition there has ever been in the history of the whole universe- Sic’em Baylor!) with my sorority!” If it were spring 2008 I could say, “Sorry I have been busy trying to balance school and work and helping plan my brother’s wedding back home!” If it were spring 2007 I could say, “Sorry I have been busy making new friends at Baylor and pledging a sorority and pretending that I don’t miss everything from life back home.”

Ok, you get the point- I’m usually a pretty busy girl. But this year things have started to slow down (halleluiah).

However, I did get a puppy- a really precious, super-cute, melt-your-heart-she-is-so-sweet kind of puppy- with floppy ears and all. An adorable little creature that likes to run and play and bark and chew and pee and eat and bite and vomit (on my bed-true story) until she finally falls asleep at night. Yes, Morgan Eillis Monroe has stolen my heart… and all of my free time. And yes, I am aware that my dog’s name sounds like the name of a law firm.

But seeing as how I got her in October, I’m assuming you think that excuse has expired by now. Darn.

This brings me to my point of this rambling mess of a blog post (A+ if you are still reading, by the way) that has been 6 long months in the making: we spend way too much time making excuses for ourselves instead of actually making time to do the things we love.

Let me put it this way- how often do you say, “Oh, tomorrow I’ll work out.”

“Tomorrow I’ll read my Bible.”

“Tomorrow I’ll call Mimi.”

“Tomorrow I’ll actually fix my hair.”

I don’t know about you, but I am pretty sure that if I stopped wasting time justifying my laziness I might actually have time to be pro-active in my life. Lets face it, we all make time for our priorities in some way or another. So maybe the question isn’t, “Where did the time go?” Maybe it’s, “When did my priorities get so messed up?”

I was at a John Mayer concert this past summer and John (apparently we are on a first name basis...as of right now) said something that really stuck with me. He said, “People do a terrible job of listening to their friends, but they do an even more terrible job of listening to themselves.” Now, John was talking about peer pressure and the importance of not partying life away (right before he sang Who Says) but the point is still the same. We are too good at ignoring the little voice inside that’s trying to get us to live life to the fullest.

For me- that little voice is telling me to take time to write, amongst other more important things. So, starting tonight, I will fill this corner of the web with the thoughts that have been swarming around in my head. I hope you enjoy, I hope you can relate, or, at the very least, I hope I make you laugh.

Check back soon- I’ll be here.

My Prof's Pants

Every MWF I get a text message from one of my dear friends who, instead of taking notes in class, takes a picture of her professor who wears the most ridiculous pants. Every time he turns to write something on the board she snaps a picture on her phone and sends it my way. Now, it’s true, she should probably be writing down whatever he puts on the board instead of texting, but in her defense, I wouldn’t be able to pay attention either. Or take a single thing he says seriously.

I’d like to share these pictures because they really do brighten my day (pun intended) and because he clearly wants to draw attention to himself. Well buddy, congrats, your pants are making their internet debut!

But first, I must preface. 1) I know the picture quality is bad (clearly she doesn’t have an iphone 4 haha) but you can still see well enough to laugh 2) I wondered if blogging about this was slightly tacky, but this man clearly has a sense of humor…and to respect some of his privacy I have intentionally left off which friend gave this to me, and which school he teaches at. So, don’t feel guilty laughing at this one, okay?

The first text I received from her simply said, “No joke my prof is wearing pale yellow pants and we can all see his white and green polka dot boxers!!! I can’t focus at all!!!” I laughed, thinking it was funny and unusual. Little did I know about unusual…

The next text: “my profs pants are pink and white sear sucker today!!! They’re not see through though:(“ who knew she would actually be sad she couldn’t see through his pants- sounds like an answer to prayer to me!

Then the picture texts started…

“Christmas came early with this outfit…he had on read and white candy cane stripped linen pants (he was wearing dark green boxers- they aren’t visible here but the def were in class)”

"Quit pants"

“I don’t even know what to say…today his pants are lime green”

Then there was cowboy day. “Today his pants are grey with a lovely design of maroon cowboy boots sprinkled sporadically throughout”

"Today he wore a pink shirt with green pants with white sword fish embroidered on them. He was also wearing a matching green bow tie” Of course he was!

You know what the best part of all of this is? He announced to the class last week that they could receive extra credit on their midterm if they could list off the shapes he had worn on his pants…does picture texts count as a cheat sheet or sheer luck? Either way, she better have gotten an A!

10.4.09

Oh, the difference a year can make! I went back to Waco this past Sunday for my friends’ engagement; while I was there I visited my old church, FBC Woodway. And as I sat in the back of the room, where I used to always sit and sing and pray, I started to think. I wondered what my life was like this time last year- probably a mess, I thought. What was I sitting here thinking, praying for, praising God for? I wondered how I had changed since October 2009. I had graduated, moved towns, and transitioned into some form of adulthood. Yes, I knew I had changed. So, when I got home I pulled out my prayer journal and found an entry I had written exactly 365 days before.

After reading it, I remembered that night. I remember feeling overwhelmed and scared about my future. I was so afraid of messing up my life. I remember feeling so lonely. And so unsure about how God was working in my life. But I also remember feeling so sure that the only way to work through my problems was to talk to the Lord about it all. So I started writing. I poured out my heart that night, and looking back, I am so glad I have it all in writing. Even though that was a major low point, I am so glad I can see all of the ways God has moved in my life since then.

So, I thought I would share it with you…well at least some of it:) Hopefully, God will use this to encourage you in some way or another. Who knows what you are dealing with! What is on your heart? What is secretly bubbling inside of you? Maybe you relate to me- after all, everyone is 21 at some point in their lives!

God,

I love you. I am amazed by the wondrous things you do. You are always at work- in ways I don’t see, don’t understand and usually don’t trust.

I want to pour all I have into all you have prepared for me but something is holding my back. I’m scared of my future and fearful of what it might look like if I make a wrong move.

I want to honor you. I want to bring you glory. I want to feel fulfilled.

I always pictured myself getting a job at a church but I always pictured having my life together at that point too. But here I am and in some ways I feel well and ready and prepared and in some ways I feel unsure. I’m not sure I am ready. God, my heart feels guilty just admitting that! Is ministry what you want for me, or what people expect of me? I want this to be your conviction in me, not other people’s standards impressed upon me- but maybe you want me to work through that. Maybe you know that is what is best for me.

I don’t know what is going on with me!

Maybe I don’t know who I am- at least in some ways. Maybe that is why I feel like I am waiting for my life to start. Maybe my neutrality is emptiness. Maybe my questions are unfaithfulness. Maybe this is all normal. Maybe it’s Satan trying to distract me. Maybe it’s you working on a different timetable.

Maybe I’m not supposed to figure it all out.

Regardless, I need some affirmation. I want my life to consist of consistency! But I need to know that who I am now is okay. I need to know that I am worthy of something- that I am getting through to people! That I am living now! Let this prayer right now show that you hear me- that my heart is beating and I am working towards something great.

I need to see you working in my life now, not just my future.

I want to trust, I try really really hard, but it is not easy, it is not simple. Maybe I’m looking at life all wrong, but I am feeling it all right now. Please meet me here. Please let this genuinely humble prayer be herd- I am trying so hard to honor your, even though I am a pathetic work in progress. I know I always will be. Thank you for letting me share my heart.

Please, give me something to chase after.

Your child,

Meredith

Yes, I remember that night, that girl, those problems. Tonight, my journal entry will start with something like this, “Oh Lord, I am so blown away by the ways you have worked in my life! Looking back, I can see how you have been faithful and patient and trustworthy…my life is living proof…I'm sorry for every time I questioned You...”

(By the way, this is my official journaling endorsement. Everyone should at least try it. Even you. It takes patience and dedication, but the rewards are wonderful!)

TWO

My pastor, Dr. Stephen, is teaching on Revelation and this morning he said something that has stayed on my mind all day. He was talking about how Rev. 7:9-17 promises that there will be a day when a countless multitude of people from every part of the world will surround the throne of God and worship Him with every part of their soul. Dr. Stephen made the point that there are currently about 6 billion people in the world- of which only 2 billion are Christians. Dr. Stephen left his sermon at this, “Who will tell the other 4,000,000,000?”

Good question…

So, I did the math…and the math is simple. How many people would the 200 billion have to tell in order to reach all 4 billion? Assuming that every one of the 2 billion believers are willing to share their faith, then we all only need to tell 2 people. TWO PEOPLE! (Your heart should be pounding!!!!!)

Even if only half of us chose to share, we would all only need to tell 4. If only one fourth of us share the good news, that just raises the number to 8. (Your heart should be racing!!!!!!)

Now, obviously the numbers are a little more complicated than that because we have to take a lot of factors into consideration. What if two people tell the same two people? What about all of the countries where it is illegal to share the gospel? What about third world countries and hidden rainforest civilizations? What about all of the people who don’t even have the Bible written in their own language?

But what about all of the people in your own little world who don’t even know you go to church?

When I was younger my Bible study teacher told a haunting story about how he ran into his long lost high school best friend at a 10-year reunion; the best friend, who lived a crazy, reckless youth had turned his life around and become a Christian. The best friend had one question, “How come you never told me? I thought I knew everything about you, but how could you not share this? I was so lost, you never showed me the way.” (Your heart should be breaking!!!!!!) My Bible study teacher told us that he would never forget those words. Neither will I.

Who will tell the other 4 billion? Will I do my part? Will you?

For, “Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved,” How, then can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? And how can they breach unless they are sent? As it is written, “How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!” Romans 10:13-15

Junk In My Trunk

It was 7:30am on a Saturday, there was a 70% chance of rain, and my bed felt ever so cozy; nothing could convince me to move. My alarm clock, however, was quite determined to get me up- I had plans. Big plans. I was supposed to go to the neighborhood garage sales with my good friend, Jaime.

I hit snooze.

I texted Jaime, “are you sure you want to go…I think it is about to rain…” Please back out. Please back out. Please back out!!!

I made up reasons not to go. (I can’t spend money. Where am I going to put everything that I buy? What am I even looking for? I sneezed yesterday- maybe I’m getting sick!)

I gave up the fight at about 7:48, finally got out of bed, and headed straight for the coffee pot. And I’m so glad I got up!

Jaime and I shopped out little hearts out until noon, bargaining and buying as much as we could fit in her car. Basically, everything we bought needs a bit of TLC, but considering we didn’t spend more than $10 on a single item, I’d say we did pretty good! And can I just say, it is amazing what some people are willing to sell for a dollar. On the other hand, it is also amazing what people think they can sell, even for a dollar. Ziploc brand plastic-ware? Baby dolls missing arms and legs? USED BATHING SUITES? Thanks, but no thanks…

Anyway, the point of the story is that about 10:30am Jaime and I were carrying a huge rod iron candleholder back to her car when we realized it was going to be hard to find a place for it. As she clicked to open up the trunk of her car I yelled, “I’ve got junk in my trunk!!!” I thought it was funny…Jaime thought it was funny…everyone else seemed to think it was just strange. Bummer. Ha! Get it? BUMmer? Ok, ok, I’ll stop writing now…

…right after I tell you that you should always appreciate your own sense of humor-laugh at yourself. Even when other people don’t laugh with you. Especially when other people are laughing at you.

The Songs I Sing

Do you ever feel like music has a way of meeting you right where you are in life? I can remember plenty of times when my heart was so on fire, but I couldn’t find the words to express how I felt. Then I would turn on the radio, or now Pandora and Itunes, and stumble over a song that perfectly expressed everything I had been trying to say.

I remember surviving through middle school by the saving graces of Mariah Carey’s “Hero”- feel free to mock me, I admit thinking it was the deepest, greatest, most heart-felt song I had ever heard.

I remember listening to John Mayer’s “Quiet” every Sunday night during my freshman year of High school, grateful that someone else in the world knew what it was like to not be able to turn off their brain at night.

I remember being broken-hearted my junior year of HS and finding Ben Harper’s “Walk Away.”

I remember my friend Nicole showing me a song called “Love is Waiting” by Brooke Fraiser to encourage me when I felt so alone my sophomore year in college.

I remember walking to school every day in Argentina while listening to a playlist my mom made for me and learning to sing Fernando Ortega’s “Give Me Jesus” in Spanish.

Even this past summer I found a song called “Take All the Sky You Need” by Ellis Paul- I remember thinking, “Wow, that is exactly what my parents have been trying to tell me since I graduated!”

My point is this- music is my therapy. Any my favorite kind of music therapy is when I can listen to the lyrics of a song, close my eyes, and transform every line into a conversation I am having with God. Does that even make sense to you? Allow me to explain, before you think I am crazy. I’ll take a love song, an angry song, a sad song, a searching song, and apply it to where I am in my own life.

For example, “I’m There Too” by Michelle Featherstone is a song about two people who are so in love that they have become the same person, feeling everything the other person feels. However, I sing this song and think about all of the places in the Bible that God promises to always be by my side, to never let me go, and to welcome me into Heaven some day. When she sings, “I see myself in you, in everything you do…I see me in your eyes, and I’m the tears you cry,” I think about how God cares about me so much, and how every single thing He does is for my benefit, even when I don’t understand it. It makes me remember that He loves me so much He sent is son to die for me, that the tears He cried were for me! So, for me this song becomes a poem of comfort for today and security for tomorrow- all wonderful gifts from God that I don’t deserve.

To listen to the song click here. But while you listen, maybe you could make it your own conversation. I’ve included the lyrics below, and have put all of my parts of the conversation in black and all of “God’s replies” in red (I wonder where I got that grand idea). I hope you enjoy! It’s an amazing song!

"I'm There Too"

I see myself in you

In everything you do

And when you’re all alone at night

You know I am by your side

Cuz I’m there too

I see me in your eyes

And I’m the tears you cry

And when you fall apart

And are dying from a broken heart

I’m there too

I see your footsteps in the sand

As you journey on across this land

But if you should fall on your way

Then I will carry you that day

Cuz I’m there

I’m there too

Yeah I’m there too

I see your face in mine

And I know there’ll come a time

When you will take my hand

And I will understand

That you’re there too

When you will take my hand

And I will understand

That you’re there

You’re there too