The Waco Breakup List

Packing up my apartment, saying goodbye to all of my friends, and watching my college experience become a memory was one of the saddest things I have gone through in a long time. But knowing that so many of my friends are on their way back to Waco to start another semester at Baylor is almost even harder.

Now, I am aware that I am being a little dramatic, but I can’t help but take every Facebook “back to Waco!”, “moving in to my new apartment!”, “can’t wait to see all of my friends!” status updates as personal insults. How dare the world not take my feelings into consideration; don’t they know how much it kills me to know that life is going on without me? Would it be too much to ask people to put “…but I wish dear old Mer was here too” at the end of their taunting statuses? Hello, graduated BFF here clearly having separation anxiety…a little support would be nice! (see, I told you I was being dramatic).

Anyway, yesterday I was watching an episode of “How I Met Your Mother” where Ted, one of the main characters, explained that every time he went through a breakup he would write a letter to his future self in order to remind himself why the relationship ended. (I.e. we fought all the time, she hated my job, she flirted with my friends etc.) Ted found the letters very helpful when, a few months after the breakup, he started missing his ex, wondering why they ever called it quits.

What a genius concept, Ted! Our memory loves to trick us when we are vulnerable, only reminding us of fond past-times, sliding past all of the junk that accompanied the good. I have spent a good amount of time daydreaming about my fabulous life in Waco, wondering why I even left. So, I’m taking Ted’s advice. Thus, for the next week (the first week of school for my dear friends) I’ll be blogging about all of the reasons I’m glad I don’t live in wacko Waco. It’ll be my Waco breakup list, if you will.

I’d like to note that the list is mostly about Waco, not Baylor, because there is no part of me that wishes I were sitting in class on syllabus day…sweating like a pig because it is 105 degrees outside. Also, in order for this blogging adventure to be any fun at all, you must remember that every story, every reason on the list, every one of my snide comments comes from a place of love and slight depression that I’m not sitting in Common Grounds right now…

So hear me loud and clear- I love Waco and all of the people in it. Waco will always have a special place in my heart, and I will visit often. But as for now, I need to muster up some bitterness, for the sake of Facebook stalking my friends, my poor family who listens to my complaining, and, most importantly, my sanity.

Let the list begin…

1) The cricket plague that invades every dorm, apartment, house, restaurant and church in town for at least 3 months every fall.

2) One-way streets.

3) No parking on or around campus.

4) Receiving notice that sexual predators live on my block.

5) All of my sketchy neighbors.

6) Cats. Everywhere.

7) The terrible-smelling, terrible-tasting, clear liquid that comes straight from the Brazos into every faucet… also known as “water”.

8) Brother’s Management. Did I really just say that?

9) The birds. I think Alfred Hitchcock’s inspiration must have been from traveling to or through Waco.

10) The distinct terrible smell by the sewage drains on campus that is intensified by the summer heat. I felt the need to shower every time I walked by one.

Ok, that’s enough for now. I feel better- this is quite therapeutic. Stay tuned for reasons 11-1,000.